But, obviously, we can’t talk about the same thing over and over again for eternity. There is a very simple recipe for having interesting conversations with others, and it starts with knowing what you’re actually interested in. Good stories have specific details, emotional moments, and a point that connects to something bigger. He’s been writing about social skills since 2012.
For example, if you’re also interested in bikes, you could talk about cycling, ask if she bikes to work, and what bike she would recommend. If they don’t share your interest, you can try mentioning something else later in the conversation. You might come across mutual interests more often than you think. It can be tricky to keep eye contact, especially if we feel uncomfortable around someone. But lack of eye contact can make people think that we don’t care what they have to say. You might start worrying and start thinking things like, “Will they look down on me for not having been to Europe?
The foundation of being interesting is presence – showing up fully in the conversation rather than half-present while your mind wanders. This sounds simple but is genuinely difficult in the age of constant digital distraction. But here, we’re using this extraordinary ability to connect faster and make interesting conversations. What is interesting to us that we also might have in common with them? It just needs to be something that you enjoy talking about. In addition, most people don’t like to be asked lots of questions by someone who doesn’t share much in return.
“Where are you from?” and “What do you do?” lead nowhere. Ask specific questions that invite stories and opinions instead. The fastest way to appear interesting is to be genuinely interested.
Perfect when you know nothing about the other person. Someone who talks about a quiet hobby with real energy is more interesting than someone who lists impressive activities without any feeling behind them. Passion is what draws people in, not the activity on paper. You do not have to hide what you think to keep a conversation smooth. Say what you believe, stay open when someone disagrees, and avoid taking over the whole conversation while you do it. A person who shares them without dominating is easy to talk to again.
Rapid-fire questions feel like a job interview. Let the conversation breathe – answer, react, share – before asking the question. Closed questions—those with yes/no answers—kill conversation momentum. “Are you a student?” gets a one-word answer and ends the exchange. “What’s your school like?” opens a door to description, opinion, and story.
Our brains are really good at coming up with assumptions about people. Sometimes, that’s a bad thing, like when we make judgments rooted in prejudice. ” (an open question) encourages the other person to give a more in-depth answer than “Did you have a good vacation?
The better you get at bringing up these topics in conversation, the quicker you’ll become more interesting to talk to. Once you have that list, practice bringing those topics up in conversation. A mundane story can become fascinating through the details you choose to highlight and the perspective you bring. “I was stuck in traffic for two hours” becomes interesting when you reveal what you observed, what you thought about, how you passed the time.
A few habits quietly work against you in conversation. Talking only about yourself, answering in one word, or complaining without offering anything else all shut a conversation down fast. These spark instant curiosity—and give people something fun to react to.
Write a list of all the topics you’re interested in. So when I talk to someone about psychology or communication and we both share those interests, odds are that it will be an interesting conversation for both of us. I’ve previously shared what everyone’s favorite topic is.
If you bombard someone with questions, they might start to feel as though you’re trying to interrogate them. At the beginning of a conversation, a few minutes of small talk helps us to warm up. But you don’t want to get stuck in trivial chit-chat. To move beyond small talk, try to ask a personal question that relates to the topic. Save these for when the small talk has warmed up, or for those quiet hours when strangers get unusually honest.
They share vulnerably rather than performing, revealing real thoughts and feelings rather than a polished persona. They find the extraordinary in ordinary experiences, finding angles and insights that make everyday topics compelling. To be more interesting is not a personality trait. It comes from staying curious, asking real questions, and sharing your own stories instead of staying quiet. Anyone can build this skill with practice, and regular conversations with new people, even strangers, speed it up. Focus on curiosity, storytelling, and listening.
If you are genuinely compatible with the person you’re talking to, you’ll soon enough find several topics that both of you find interesting. Being interesting isn’t about performing or trying hard—it’s about engaging genuinely. When you’re truly curious about the other person and genuinely present in the conversation, interesting things tend to happen naturally. The techniques in this guide aren’t about adding artificial effort; they’re about removing barriers that prevent natural engagement.
The people you remember from a conversation usually have a few things in common. They ask questions that make you think, not just the ones that fill silence. They tell you what actually happened instead of listing facts about themselves. As I said in my previous video, everyone’s favorite topic is themselves. As long as they feel like the other person is truly enjoying the JapansDates conversation.
Noticing these things and expressing them creates connection. “What’s something you’ve changed your mind about in the year?” reveals growth and intellectual humility. “What’s a memory you find yourself going back to often?” reveals what someone values. “If you could have dinner with anyone from history, who would it be and why?” reveals values, interests, and imagination. These questions transcend small talk and create genuine connection.
Practice seeing people as interesting—everyone has a life as rich and complex as yours, with struggles and triumphs and daily dramas you’re entirely unaware of. Adopt the mindset that your job in any conversation is to draw out the other person, to give them space and invitation to share themselves. This sounds like it would make you passive, but it makes you good. The person you’re talking to will remember you as the person who listened, who made them feel heard, who drew out things they don’t normally share with strangers. When responding to a question or sharing an experience, consider the unexpected angle.
Some people are going to be so different than us that we’re just not compatible. We shouldn’t spend our energy trying to win over people who don’t fit into our lives anyway. So when that happens, we move on and find someone else to be interesting with.
And if you feel like you might be interested in different things depending on who the other person is, please feel free to write different lists for different situations. I want you to write a list of things you’re interested in knowing about the other person. All the things you have opinions about, or experiences with and that you think are fun, interesting, or exciting to talk about.
The main difficulty facing introverts is generally their energy level, not their interest. One substantial conversation is better than ten brief ones and has the added advantage of making a more lasting impression. 🎯 Along the way, you will see how a few minutes on the Nibble app can help you build a knowledge base that makes conversation easier.
And whenever someone doesn’t actively engage, you can let that topic die and move on to another one from your list. Let me give you a simple exercise to do that will help you master this in no time. And afterwards, I’ll give you one more way to use this technique that makes it more powerful than any other conversation technique I’ve ever found. Because while things become less impressive the more you experience it, things we’re interested in do not become less interesting the more you explore it.
It means sharing genuine opinions rather than safe opinions. It means admitting uncertainty rather than performing certainty. It means expressing genuine reactions rather than expected ones. “I’m nervous about my upcoming project” is more interesting than “Work is going fine.”
